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An insight
By they_speak
9/1/2012 1:30:24 PM
I sat with a website typed in ready to push enter. I decided to stop and just observe my breathing and what was going on in my body. To my surprise I noticed I actually felt good. Living feels good when ever I pay attention. I didn't feel some miserable hole that had to be filled. But that wasn't that helpful. I still felt glued to my doom. I realized it was 100% inevitable that I act out. It was at that point I think we're all familiar with. Without words I said a small 1st and 2nd step prayer and continued to observe. I wondered "why if nothing is wrong with me would I feel I have to and will do this?" I really tried to observe the feelings in my body and not react to them good or bad but just see them for what they were. Then it hit me! I felt it in my whole being. I don't know why it was revelatory vs. ever obvious but it was. It was not the feeling of acting out I was after. It was the feeling of diving into my work I was avoiding. Sometimes doing whats right reminds me of skydiving and cliff jumping. You can't just sit at the cliffs edge all day to avoid the feeling of total surrender. God is a wild man.

I didn't act out in that moment. I leapt. Miraculous.

Comments:

procrastination    
"Most of my dis-ease comes from exactly the same source. Why is it so hard to focus on what I know I should be doing? What kind of a person would I be if I always focused on the most effective, spiritually prompted task at hand? I'm sure I would be a " Highly Effective " person."
posted at 14:14:57 on September 1, 2012 by beclean
Good job, Home Slice :)    
"Keep it up. :) Way to win. :)"
posted at 16:47:22 on September 1, 2012 by g1rlie
Love it!!    
"You sure have a gift for writing Speak - I was right there with you with that entire story. Thank you for sharing. Great insight!"
posted at 00:12:16 on September 2, 2012 by siouxsie


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006