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Dying...
By g1rlie
9/9/2012 12:58:34 PM
So, apparently part of me must die so I can really live. The part of me that must die is my addict. My addict hates me and will try to kill me spiritually.

I was just thinking about these things because sometimes I feel like I will die if I don't act out, or if I don't hear Greg's voice again, or if I don't see him again. But, you know what? I'm slowly starting to be okay with being without him. Now that I see who he is, I realize it's such a wonderful thing for me to be all of the way out of the situation I was in with him.

Except, apparently I left a door open....

Email.

I've changed my email address so many times, but he can still contact me by email because Sometimes I am weak and I've told him that I'm mad at him or that I miss him or something. And last week he asked me if I want to, um, "act out" with him. And, I do want to do this. But I told him I'm not going to. It just triggered me so much and I've been feeling sometimes like I will die if I don't act out with him again. Then I come to my senses and I realize Greg is one creepy scary dude. And my feelings for him are fading rather nicely.

Comments:

know thyself...    
"not sure if you are doing therapy. A big part of that is learning to understand your rituals before you act out.

sometime are rituals include saying no over and over again until we are like zombies and just act out.

good luck"
posted at 13:15:39 on September 9, 2012 by Anonymous


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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990