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My addict is trying to kill me
By g1rlie
10/9/2012 2:11:45 PM
He still wants to act out with me. Greg. Yeah,I hit the bottom. But apparently, there was a pickaxe down there for my addict to dig an even deeper bottom. I just want to die. Keep taking too many sleeping pills. But that wouldn't solve anything. I'd still be stuck with myself.

Listened to a documentary last night on distressing Near Death Experiences. I may have had one of those once. Wound up under a dump truck on my way to work one night years sgo. Don't know how. Maybe I blacked out. I thought I died. I saw only blackness. But I had consciousness. I thought, "Am I dead?" Then I saw two people. Although I wasn't married yet, nor did I have children, I knew these to be my children. Someone told me I wasn't dead, but I'd better clean up my act for my children. At the time, I was acting out with my now husband. I never did stop acting out with him until we were married. Then I saw blackness. Then, I finally woke up in my body. I heard people all around me. I couldn't quit back then for my children. Since then, I've learned that the person I need to quit for is me. Because at the end of the day, I am the only person stuck with myself.

In the mean time, my addict is trying to kill me......

Comments:

you have my smile + encouragement    
"K.I.T.....= keep it together
at day 0...oops. i try again"
posted at 21:57:03 on October 10, 2012 by skyteamst90


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"Brothers and sisters, stay on the straight and narrow path. No, stay in the middle of the straight and narrow path. Don't drift; don't wander; don't dabble; be careful. Remember, do not flirt with evil. Stay out of the devil's territory. Do not give Satan any home-field advantage. Living the commandments will bring you the happiness that too many look for in other places. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006