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This is stupid
By G1rlie
12/28/2012 3:10:03 AM
I will never do it again.......

So I told myself. The pain of withdrawal was so great. I tried so hard. And failed......Yet Again. In a moment of weakness, I got back in contact with Greg, my former affair partner. He wants to see me again. And my addict, my natural woman, feels the same way. Don't want to go back that way again, there is only pain for me there. At the same time, my addict just wants a hit of her favorite drug. Praying for the strength and desire to do His will instead of my will. I know that when I run the bus, it's a complete disaster. But when I let God run the bus, everything turns out okay.

This is so stupid that I am still struggling with this. Boo.

Comments:

Lol    
"At least you only have to hold out strong for a few years before he dies of old age ;)"
posted at 03:45:55 on December 28, 2012 by They_Speak
Sheesh:)    
"@They_Speak, too funny :)

Yeah, he may be older, but he's still got it. :)"
posted at 04:22:15 on December 28, 2012 by G1rlie
Girlie, you're so honest!    
"I like to read your entries because you are generally very honest, very real. In my own way I am going through the same thing. Sometimes in my head I think of things I could say but I am never sure they are the right ones. I am to new to recovery so my perspective might still be flawed. I have been following your blogs because I can relate to what you are going through. I can contact my former lover without fear of meeting because we live in different countries, on different continents. I know it would be difficult if we were to find ourselves in the same city. Like me, you haven't been able to make that final break. Until we do, we will never really be free. We are suckers for punishment. I am working towards making that final, once-and-for-all break... but I haven't been able to. "
posted at 20:53:07 on January 1, 2013 by kleatov
Keep going    
"You have not gotten back with him and committed adultery again. You made a mistake contacting him, but it is not like you had sexual intercourse with him again. Realize your mistake and get in contact with needed support and tell them what you did.

You can eventually be rid of this. I believe in you!"
posted at 00:44:15 on January 2, 2013 by Anonymous
Go for it!!!    
"You do not mention if you are married. I would assume you are. If that is the case, is hubby not doing it for you. No foreplay, he does not hold back to let you get a little before he goes squirt..squirt, and says, "Wow, babe, that was great," then rolls over and falls asleep. It sounds like, if you are married, it is over. Go for what makes you happy and not be bound by some sort of moral standard that even mormon founders (Joe Smith and Bringham Young) did not abide by while they were alive. Life is too short, have an affair."
posted at 23:08:12 on January 2, 2013 by Anonymous
Replies    
"@Kleatov--Yeah, making that break is Really hard. My former lover lives far away, which is very helpful. Hang in there with recovery. You can do this :) So can I :) (I hope)
@Anonymous (Keep Going) Thank you for believing in me :)
@Anonymous (Go for it)--Inappropriate."
posted at 14:16:12 on January 3, 2013 by g1rlie


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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990