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Humility
By yosemitesam
1/3/2013 5:59:14 PM
I really, really want to start on my way back. I want to believe that God will help me overcome this. I want to believe that saying my personal and couple prayers will help. I want to believe that reading my scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, will actually give my spiritual strength. I want to believe that initiating my role as husband and father in the home, with scripture study and FHE, will bring me peace and happiness.

My pride is so strong. I'm holding on to resentment. I'm not doing things specifically to spite God. I'm still harboring grudges. I'm worrying what people think. I'm still angry. I'm still trying to compare my sins/consequences with the sins/consequences of others. I continue to look at the things the church doesn't necessarily explain up front, instead of focusing on all the good.

I know I'll find happiness if I do what's in the first paragraph. I know I won't be happy if I continue down the path of resentment, anger and hate. So why don't I just embrace the righteous path and move on? Why do I continue to stand firm in my pride when I know it's not right? Why won't I look up at the serpent on the staff?

Comments:

It's a start    
"Wanting to believe is definitely a good start. Don't worry, your desires will grow. Be patient with yourself. Recovery can take time and there are lessons to be learned during this time."
posted at 02:21:28 on January 4, 2013 by Anonymous
Yep    
"I've also had some resentment issues, but not toward God. I keep asking Why instead of focusing on my own weaknesses. This has been a major roadblock to recovery for me. Then I remember something I heard Karla Faye Tucker say. She was a convicted murderer who became converted to Christ while on Death Row. Some people called for her to not be sentenced to death because she was converted and she had also had a rough upbringing. But Ms. Tucker made a really good point. She pointed out that her sister had experienced the same upbringing. But she never chose to kill anyone. So Ms. Tucker was willing to go through her punishment because she realized her sentence was a consequence of her own choices. Thinking about this really humbles me."
posted at 06:17:23 on January 5, 2013 by G1rlie


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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967