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Go wreck your car a 1000 times
By David
1/21/2013 3:02:10 PM
I'm not in a 12 step program, yet. (I start for the first time this Wednesday) So I'm not sure if this is anything they teach or not. I am a porn addict. And I thought this might help someone else out there.
I Spoke to my bishop Yesterday. He gave me some advice that I'd like to share.

I can't remember it exactly, but this is the gist of it. He said: "I have wrecked my car, over 1000 times. I haven't actually wrecked my car that many times, but I have gone though it in my head. I have mentally put myself in the situation where I could get in a wreck. And I have made the decision about what to do in those situations before it happens. I have done this over 1000 times. So go wreck your car, and make the hard decisions, before you get to them, because then you will have already made your mind up as to what you are going to do."

I remembered doing that a long time ago. I used to plan to be in bad situations, and then choose to do good. But then I stopped. I don't remember why, but I remember breaking down those defenses I had put up.

The reason I am so susceptible to my addiction, is because I daydream about it. But instead of choosing to do the right thing in these day dreams, I often let myself succumb to to the temptation. Mentally I've been making all the wrong decisions, and what I do in those fantasies, is exactly what I am going to do in real life. That's why we have been failing, I've been setting myself up for failure, without even realizing it.

If we want to become strong enough to stop ourselves, we need to build up a mental defense for what we are going to do, before it even happens. We have to mentally put ourselves in the situations where bad things happen, and where we know we will probably fail, and then choose to do something else. We can't just do this once, we have to repeatedly go through it over, and over again, to ingrain the right decision into out minds.

If we can accomplish this, we build up our natural responses to any kind of situation. Those knee jerk reactions, that tend to set us in the direction we are going to go, are being changed. We gain control of our initial, immediate response to these situations.

It will likely take a while to break down, and rebuild, some of our reactions because we have been making the wrong decisions for so long. But I have done this before. I remember being so strong, that when anything I didn't want entered my head, I shot it down immediately. I was even changing the unwanted parts of my dreams.

I hope this helps someone else out there. For now, I'm going to be rebuilding my own defenses, so that the next time I'm tempted, or in a bad situation, I can make the right decision, instead of the wrong one.

Comments:

All things are created twice    
"Yep, the mind can be a dangerous place. All of the bad things I've done, including adultery, I thought about these things first. David, I'm glad you're realizing the power behind thoughts. We Can choose to think about higher things."
posted at 16:25:31 on January 21, 2013 by G1rlie
All things are created twice    
"Yep, the mind can be a dangerous place. All of the bad things I've done, including adultery, I thought about these things first. David, I'm glad you're realizing the power behind thoughts. We Can choose to think about higher things."
posted at 16:27:05 on January 21, 2013 by G1rlie
before you swerve    
"good thoughts dave. and well put, glad you've got a good bishop to talk to about these things. the thing that has helped me the most is the back up the game plan more and more, so it's not when I'm about to act out that recovery mode bumps in, but it's when i start to have negative feelings. or when i start to want to isolate myself. or when i even get the slightest inkling to do something inappropriate. or when I think I've got this beat and I'm fine and that I can handle doing x, y, or z without giving in. that's when sirens go off and I know I need to act and get out. keep up the good work and good luck with group"
posted at 17:25:12 on January 21, 2013 by recovery.gdo


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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002