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Unsure
By seeker
2/1/2013 12:05:03 AM
I am unsure how to say this besides straight forward. I can't stand breathing much anymore. I feel as if I am a waste of space. I don't contribute to my family, I don't have anything to my name and I don't mean anything to anyone. I feel inadequate, lonely, heartbroken and most of all disappointed in myself. I am nothing but a disappointment to myself and everyone around me. I used to be this wonderful girl who was strong in everything she did, now I am only this person who disappoints people. I feel like so much was expected of me and I have let everyone down. I'm not some bright person who is in school of who even has a job at that fact. My past haunts me and no matter how hard I try to get away things pull me right back in. I even find myself praying that the Lord would be kind to me and just take me away. I pray in hopes that today would be the last day I had to go through the pain. I know its not safe to think this way and that its unhealthy at most, but its what is on my mind.

I never tell people I feel like this because I don't want them to think I am seeking attention. I mean I have had feelings like this when I was younger and people labeled me as an attention seeker when it came to things like this. But this is different. It's not the same as it was before. I can literally feel something eating me up inside. I can't make my mind up, one minute Im ready to face challenges and the next I want it to go away.

Sorry guys, but I have no where else to go with this so I thought I would post in the venting section. Just blowing some steam.

Comments:

You are loved    
"I would bet that just about every person on this blog has at one time or another felt as you are saying you feel. That is the way Satan wants you to feel.

you are loved by God, even though you may not feel it. Just keep holding onto ope and never stop praying. This too shall pass, just keep holding on."
posted at 01:17:38 on February 1, 2013 by Anonymous
Stay strong    
"Hey Seeker,
I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time lately. I have a couple of suggestions I hope you consider. First and foremost, if you are considering harming yourself I really suggest you seek professional help. It doesn't mean you're broken or worthless, it means that you have fallen into a pattern of dangerous thinking. Be honest with yourself, and seek help if you need it. Know that everybody on these boards are here to vent to, and we are here to commiserate with you.

Having said that, remember who all of these negative thoughts are coming from. Satan! He knows that one of the best ways to keep us in our sinful ways is to discourage us. You are making progress, and the process will continue to change you over time. Be patient with yourself and try not to compare yourself to others. And don't worry about what others think. Just worry about what you need right now. You can worry about what they think once you've gotten yourself back together a bit more.

One thing I've considered lately is the importance of having a hobby or something you can take joy and pride in. Running, drawing, blogging, photography, or anything creative will give you an outlet that you seem to be lacking. Express yourself in new and interesting ways and that may help. I'm praying for you!"
posted at 01:19:18 on February 1, 2013 by Fatherofone
Service    
"I have felt this way soooo many times. Serving others is one way out of those feelings. For real. Discouraged? Encourage others."
posted at 07:42:15 on February 1, 2013 by G1rlie
You sound depressed.    
"It is normal to feel sad and lonely from time to time but what you are describing sounds like major depression, which is very difficult to overcome without professional help. Do you have insurance? This isn't your fault. Some of us have a innate chemical imbalance in our brains that makes it nearly impossible to feel any semblance of joy. The good news is that there are medications that can help. It might be worth looking into. Everyone has an opinion on anti-depressants but the only opinion that matters is yours. I have seen many people who lived their lives under a dark cloud experience a miraculous change in their outlook on life. It isn't supposed to be so miserable. Good luck, my friend."
posted at 08:21:09 on February 1, 2013 by Anonymous


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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006