Print
Feeling Helpless
By Freelin
8/14/2013 6:57:04 PM
I recently returned home from college only to find my parents getting a divorce, our house being foreclosed, and other problems that I was not ready to handle. My younger siblings were desperate for my help and I am doing all I can to be there for them, as my parents have not really been parents for many years now. I still love them of course and know that no one is perfect. For the first few weeks I felt the Lord’s assistance, as I had been sober from my masturbation addiction for almost a year. Then I caved and felt like I lost everything. I don’t know how I fell, I promised myself and the Lord that I would never commit this sin again. Yet I did. And I have given in several times since then. I don’t know that to do, and I really want to return to who I was. I loved feeling the spirit constantly. Now I am lost in an awful situation without his aid because of my weakness. I don’t know what to do. But I have to been strong for my siblings and not let them know that I have a problem. I wish I could reverse time and return to who I was. I hate myself for making that mistake and I really want to stay clean. I feel like all the progress I made is lost and I feel helpless. What should I do?

Comments:

-    
"You will only lose if you give up. Keep on trying, fighting and praying. The crown goes to those who have fought many spiritual battles.

It sounds like your family is going through some really hard times. I am very sorry."
posted at 19:01:07 on August 14, 2013 by Anonymous
Chastity    
"I thought of this after reading about what you are going through"

"Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed. He chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed." -- Gospel Principles, Chapter 39: The Law of Chastity"
posted at 00:15:42 on August 15, 2013 by Anonymous
praying    
"I'm sorry for your pain. How courageous you are to be such a support for your siblings.Please don't feel as though you do not have his aid, as you will always have his aid. Jesus is always there for you to help you in your suffering. Please do not fall to the lie that you must be perfect or clean for the Savior to help you. He is there even when you cannot feel him.

Please hang in there and don't give up. I will be praying for you tonight"
posted at 00:16:38 on August 15, 2013 by Anonymous
chastity anon    
"You are a little late because he already feels harmed.

even though we make mistakes with chastity, the Lord is there for us and will run to us when our hearts are broken and our spirits are contrite. Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane because He loves us. He does not want us to perfect ourselves and come under him. He wants us to come to him with our sins and mistakes. There's too much shame. And that shame comes directly from Satan himself. Do not fall to it, but be believing that Jesus Christ has the power to save us from our sins, even in our sins when we turn our hearts to him. Be if good cheer and know he is God for he is watching over you always. Especially as you watch over your siblings while they suffer through a very difficult loss. Keep up the good work, and forgive yourself. Do what needs to be done, and move forward. You are not stuck, but Satan would have you believe that you are stuck. Turn to Christ, as his running to you to heal your broken heart."
posted at 00:31:12 on August 15, 2013 by Anonymous
praying    
"I'm sorry for your pain. How courageous you are to be such a support for your siblings.Please don't feel as though you do not have his aid, as you will always have his aid. Jesus is always there for you to help you in your suffering. Please do not fall to the lie that you must be perfect or clean for the Savior to help you. He is there even when you cannot feel him.

Please hang in there and don't give up. I will be praying for you tonight"
posted at 00:31:28 on August 15, 2013 by Anonymous
You are doing great!    
"Almost a year, that's awesome! Way to go! Give yourself and God credit for that.

You do NOT need to be perfect to get help from God. No one is perfect, and He does NOT expect you to be. He is still right there for you. He hasn't moved. He still hears your prayers. Run to him now!! He wants to lift your burdens in this time of your great need, and He will! Your masturbationwwill not keep him from helping and hearing and loving and blessing and supporting you. That is Satan's lie. Your problem only makes you feel depressed and unworthy toserve. Don't let it! Go forth and keep serving your family in llove and don't worry about yourself. Ask God to fight this battle of temptation and tell him you're going to go do something else.

As others have said, please don't be too hard on yourself. You were (are) very stressed with terrible life challenges right now. Throughout your life, you've used this drug as a crutch to get you thorough the hard times. It's no wonder why you ran to it now. You need to learn other, more healthy ways to deal with the stresses of life, and that takes time and coaching from others. Please don't expect yourself to be perfect at dealing with stress without help and coaching if you've never dealt with it very well before. Don't be tough on yourself.

You have infinite worth. God loves you still. Go do the same things you would have done if you hadn't slipped! Tell your Bishop of your stress and slip, if you think it's necessary, and then let the Lord help you. He's still there!!"
posted at 01:25:10 on August 15, 2013 by beclean
Thank you    
"I would like to thank all of you for your comments and prayers. I felt the Lords love last night and have once again begun the process of repentance. I can't tell you what your response has meant to me. I always felt alone in this problem and tried this site out of desperation yesterday. Thank you so much! I know that the Lord will always be there for be with open arms. I just need to learn to forgive myself and never give up."
posted at 16:02:54 on August 15, 2013 by Freelin
Something that helps me    
"...deal with destructive thinking is, not thinking. Sounds simple but it's real.

It works with all kinds of destructive thoughts too. For example: The other day I was disturbed by some thoughts about church history (namely how we seemed to perceive skin color back in the day) and instead of going through all the bla bla bla of who in authority said what I just stopped...cleared my mind...felt my breathing...closed my eye (they just naturally closed as I was standing there at the burrito truck)...felt the sun on my face...the air...looked inside...and observed what I, at my core, felt God thought about skin color. About the variety of his children. I went to my most core self. And got the answer. Felt the comfort of answer. Never mind what the scriptures say. Never mind what the brethren say. Never mind what my all mighty opinion is. At the end of the day with out revelation all the he say she say bow-chi-cheh is meaningless anyway.

The reason I tell you that is because I recognize some of the thoughts you expressed as my own. "I'm no longer who I was." "I was good. Now i'm bad." Though based on no evidence what so ever I'll believe those things. I'll believe God want's me to believe those things. My ego is satisfied by guilting and shaming myself. My inner lawyer will back up every one of those guilty thoughts with some experience or emotion or scripture. It's total crap. But, my inner lawyer is a master of the art.

But, I can stop. Quit trying to find the answer in my head and just feel the answer in my Being. I just observe. I feel my breathing (if that helps). Empty my mind. Surrender. I ask what God want's me to believe/feel. But!, I don't try to fabricate the answer through my "own understanding" (of scripture or my sins or anything else). Because my understanding of the scriptures especially coupled with my sins is tainted with all kinds of non sense and ill founded judgment and experience. I listen. Just listen. Observe. The answer always comes. When it does not once has the answer ever been "feel more shame" "you're a terrible person" "your actions are disgusting" "what were you thinking" "God is not a fan of repeat offenders" "you're not going to make it". I've heard those things in church directly or implied but not once have I ever heard God say that. Ever.

Anyway, just one dudes experience. It was good for me to remind myself of some of that. Hopefully you can get something out of it too :)"
posted at 18:56:54 on August 15, 2013 by they_speak


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"The solution to this problem ultimately is neither governmental nor institutional. Nor is it a question of legality. It is a matter of individual choice and commitment. Agency must be understood. The importance of the will in making crucial choices must be known. Then steps toward relief can follow."

— Russell M. Nelson

Ensign