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By sjanderson1
12/30/2015 2:36:29 PM
Okay
Here I am again, working on one day of sobriety. Frustrated with myself, trying to be patient with life and stuff, but so frustrated with money being short, job not being fulfilling, finding that p@rn is deceptive to suck me in to believe that there is a magical place far away that I can escape to. My struggle is that I am not being challenged in my work. I have wanted to excel, wanted to work hard, I don't mean to be a victim. Instead of writing this right now, I guess I could be vacuuming the office instead of sitting on the computer looking to be entertained. There are a lot of details that I don't have time to go into here, but suffice it to say I know how to work, there is no opportunity to do anything of value or contribute. In honesty I guess it is the holidays and people are on vacation and I should be not so hard on myself, but it is been years of this, wanting to get ahead, wanting to be challenged. I know as I said before I can be doing more, and in fact instead of droning on about how life is not fair I will go an do something like that, vacuum the floor, even though it isn't my job, it won't be noticed and it doesn't make a hill's worth of difference, but I can at least try and be transparent with God and myself.

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