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My story
By teresa
10/2/2010 9:33:03 PM
First blog: Tonight I'm searching for help and inspiration to make the commitment to change.About 2 years ago I turned to alcohol when my husband was out of town. Thankfully I've been able to limit it to once in a while but now the urge to drink comes along more often. I would like to be able to quite altogether and get my recommend back. No one in my family knows or suspects what I'm doing but its very difficult to face the guilty conscience all the time. I don't understand it because every time I tell myself it's the last time and I won't do it again and then I find myself doing the same thing, I don't even enjoy the taste and the pain and agony of the aftermath. This week has been especially trying as everytime I go to the store I'm tempted, in fact I just went to the store, had a 6 pack in my hand and walked up to the checkout and told myself no and left. Then I drove to the liquor store, walked in, and did the same thing, told myself I didn't want it and talked myself out of so I know I want to change. I want to confess to my husband and my church leaders so I can move on and get the help I need but I'm so afraid. I really don't know why I started doing this because my father was an alcholic so I should know better as I saw how it destroyed him. I really and truly want to quit.

Comments:

Welcome!    
"Though I suspect your battle and mine are similar, I feel I know nothing about the pull of alcohol. But I know the Savior has saved you as well as me, if you turn to him.

I will pray for you and your family, Teresa. I pray you have the strength to confess and work through the 12 steps. Continue to visit us. We are here for you."
posted at 21:43:31 on October 2, 2010 by BeClean
Welcome    
"I'm glad you are reaching out. Like BeClean I don't share your addiction, but all addictions are similar. One thing an alcoholic in my ARP group says he did was in the store he doesn't walk down the alcohol aisle, or if he has to because it shares an aisle with something else he doesn't look at the alcohol. I too pray that you will confess and work the 12 steps. I know confessing seems hard, but you'll feel better. It helps to have things out in the open, and it will make it easier to work on recovery. Secrets are not good for adictions."
posted at 23:17:16 on October 2, 2010 by dstanley
CONSCIENCE!    
"Teresa, Pray for the strength to make the commitment to change. You are a beautiful daughter of God. Your children, family and friends need you. Do not allow Satan to confuse your conscience, the Light of Christ, the Gift of the Holy Ghost. This is a gift we have been given, our own warning light. It is what will help us when we are getting off the path. Direct us back to our Loving Heavenly Father... If you are hearing negative rhetoric from your conscience, that is from Satan. Push it out of the way and get going on the direction your Heavenly Father would want you to be. Back into his protecting loving arms.
Pray, Find a 12 step group. The 12 steps will help you identify what pain you are trying to medicate. Give you the proper tools of the Atonement and gifts from the Savior and the Holy Ghost to heal. To be All You Can Be!!
You can do this......, I would love to hear your decision and progress...."
posted at 14:20:45 on October 3, 2010 by BYOUROWNHERO
Thanks for the comments    
"Thanks for the comments and the support. I'm going to be praying a lot. That is one thing I haven't done lately. It amazing how all of this starts off with just a little deviation from what you know is right and it just compounds itself and pretty soon your doing all kinds of things you know aren't right. I really need to find strength to get back on the right track. I know it will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do is confess but I know if I continue to hide it then it will only get worse. I'm so glad I was led to this website. It has been a rough couple of years but I know I'm on the road to destruction and I need to find a way back to what I know is right. I'm so thankful for the Atonement. I never thought I would need it as bad as I need it now. I just didn't know where to turn for help, hopefully I've found the answer."
posted at 14:48:43 on October 3, 2010 by teresa
Really it a day at a time!    
"Teresa, Hey you've done the hardest part already. You admitted you have a problem. As you can see from comments, there is only love and support. Talking to your Bishop may be difficult but not as difficult as continuing to hide. Eventually it will all come out anyway. Better now while you still have your family. I have many years in recovery and have been involved with AA/NA and the les recovery program. I am greatful for everything I have learned and that I continue to learn. I still deal with temptations but believe because I strive to live my life by these 12 steps and principles I have some peace today. It has been a long road with several relapses before I could get it. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE. It is worth any shame or fear you may have. My prayers are with you. Pick up that phone and make that call to your Bishop, It will be worth it."
posted at 17:25:02 on October 4, 2010 by Anonymous
Really it a day at a time!    
"Teresa, Hey you've done the hardest part already. You admitted you have a problem. As you can see from comments, there is only love and support. Talking to your Bishop may be difficult but not as difficult as continuing to hide. Eventually it will all come out anyway. Better now while you still have your family. I have many years in recovery and have been involved with AA/NA and the les recovery program. I am greatful for everything I have learned and that I continue to learn. I still deal with temptations but believe because I strive to live my life by these 12 steps and principles I have some peace today. It has been a long road with several relapses before I could get it. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE. It is worth any shame or fear you may have. My prayers are with you. Pick up that phone and make that call to your Bishop, It will be worth it."
posted at 17:32:31 on October 4, 2010 by Anonymous
Still trying to get up enough nerve    
"I'm still tryingto get up enough nerve to confess to my husband what I've been doing. I kept trying to tell myself I could quit anytime but there was always another episode. Yes finally admitting I have a problem is the first step, now I need to do the rest. I'm just hoping my husband is accepting of it and willing to help. All I can do is pray that is how it turns out. I'm sure I'll have the temptations too and relapses but I really and truly want to concur this."
posted at 18:06:55 on October 4, 2010 by teresa
Teresa, we're praying for you    
"You have our prayers while you go talk to your husband and your Bishop. I think it would be fair for your husband to recognize that your father had this problem, too, so genetics were already against you, but there are no guarantees he will feel that way.

One thing is certain, you do NOT have to be like your dad (in this way) any longer. You can change!! Overcoming IS possible. Work the 12 steps! Turn yourself to God."
posted at 19:58:15 on October 4, 2010 by BeClean
Teresa, welcome!    
"I'm a recovering alcoholic and I welcome you with open arms. Alcoholism is a disease that tells the alcoholic tha we aren't that bad, that we can stop if we really wanted to, that it's not really hurting anyone but ourself. Unfortunately, people with our disease die every single day. I just lost a close friend at the young age of 40 years old to alcoholism. The first thing to figure out is if you are indeed an alcoholic. Do an experiment. Stop drinking from this moment on. If you are an alcoholic, there will come a time when you just don't care about the experiment and decide to drink anyway. (non alcoholics have no problem giving it up for good) The truth of the matter is, we didn't make a decision at all. Somewhere along the way we were lost our will as it pertains to drinking alcohol. The good news is there is a solution that has a wonderful success rate. I have been sober for 8 years with the help of AA and the churches ARP program. I, too, was worried about what my friends and family would think in the beginning but I quickly realized that this disease KILLS people. It can take your life in a very painful and ugly way and the damage we leave in our wake endures for generatons. So, Teresa, please throw yourself into the the 12 Step program right now. Let the chips fall where they may with your family and whoever finds out. Getting help for yourself is the kindest thing you can do for your family but they may never fully understand that. Recovery is priority NUMBER ONE. Without recovery, every other blessing, ( family, job, church activity, financial security), will lost one by one until we are alone. My heart is with you. We are all in this together. Please don't compare yourself to other seemingly perfect families in your ward. Every single family is struggling with something difficult that threatens their salvation. Good luck, Teresa."
posted at 20:11:12 on October 4, 2010 by Anonymous
Anonymity    
"That was a genuinely positive and helpful post, Anonymous. Is there any chance you could share your screen name so that Teresa knows who to address when she has questions or needs support?

Thanks!"
posted at 21:24:32 on October 4, 2010 by BeClean
One Day At A Time/One Step At A Time.    
"Teresa, welcome to step one. You are on the path. In Step One, we admit that we are POWERLESS to overcome our addictions and that our life has become UNMANAGEABLE. It has everything to do with HONESTY. Thank You for being honest with yourself and with us, your fellow travelers. Work this step along with steps 2through 4. This is going to be work, blood, sweat and tears. It is in Step 5 that we have the courage to Confess. Don't agonize over this right now.
In the Introduction of the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program, left hand column, last paragraph:
"We have known great sorrow, but we have seen the power of the
Savior turn our most devastating defeats into glorious victories.
Every time I read that statement I break out in tears. I have ran the gamet of addictions and have had to deal with the other end as a recoverd spouse who became a Co-dependent enabling husband to a wife who flip flopped from being a cookie cutter Mormon wife serving in the Primary to a woman who became a sex addict. We had 5 children. Suddenly, as if overnight, I became a single parent with 5 needy kids who had no idea of what was going on. This instability also created in me a desire to relapse into alcohol and pron. I knew full well how addictions never remain on an even keel but continue to grow and expand and fill your whole life with darkness. We had a loosely defined 12 step group that met in the Ward Building. There was no priesthood direction and as a consequence, I left that group and relied on my Bishop to guide me. I put my life in his hands. I with my children moved to a different state and we started over. I remarried but had these ingrained co-dependent behaviors that I have struggle with for years. My loving wife has been patient with me and has helped me try to understand.
Last year, I joined the LDS AR group and I am now a substitute facilitator. I had no idea how many of us struggle with addictions. Many of the addictions on this site have to deal with Pronography. We do have sisters who struggle with alcohol and drugs. I KNOW THAT THIS PROGRAM WORKS. OUR HIGHER POWER IS JESUS CHRIST. THROUGH THE POWER OF HIS ATONEMENT WE CAN BE CHANGED, CLEANSED, HEALED AND BROUGHT BACK TO A LEVEL OF SPIRITUAL STRENGTH THAT WE NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. YOU CAN BREAK THIS ADDICTION WITH THE HELP OF THE SAVIOR.
Imagine singing I Know That My Redeemer Lives and not be able to finish it because of the tears that will be streaming down your face.
We your fellow travelers need you to join our ranks. You can become strong in recovery.

Hello Teresa, my name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic. I have been sober since 1971."
posted at 21:39:16 on October 4, 2010 by migail3
Step one    
"I've been studying step one today and I also took the time to read thru several others. Thank you for all the encouragement and help everyone is offering. It's not so much I think I'm an alcoholic at the moment but afraid that it might come to that eventually if I don't stop. I never intended for this to go on for 2 years. It's also leading to other things such as pornography while I'm drinking and other things I'm not comfortable talking about yet. That is what is so frustrating, when your not in the right mind and under the control of alcohol you start doing other things as well. That is why I have to stop now before I get in deep with so many other things. I will hold off on the confession for now and work thru step 1-4. Thanks again everyone."
posted at 22:09:45 on October 4, 2010 by teresa
Don't put it off!    
"I would really recommend not putting off telling your bishop and husband. It isn't an easy thing to do, but you will feel better. I don't know that you can really work your recovery while still hiding things. You say you don't think you're an alcoholic, but you say it went on longer than you meant and you're working the steps. If you can't stop on your own, you're an alcoholic. As a sex addict, I know that for me I have to be honest with myself and my support people, or it causes me lots of grief. Also, it is easier to get and stay sober with support from others. Take advantage of the help your bishop and husband can give you. Also, it's not going to get any easier to confess. Lying about it longer only makes it worse. My suggestion from all my experiences is don't put off confessing."
posted at 16:33:48 on October 7, 2010 by dstanley
Week of awakening    
"It's been a while since I've been able to write anything. It's been a very trying week, as I call it a week of awakening. Two sudden deaths of people I know, one a co-worker and one a young family member who died accidently while taking drugs. Wow what a wakeup call. You never know when your time is up and the aftermath of what your decisions can do to your family and friends. Both of these people should still be alive today, both made choices that they can't take back now. I've seen the grief it's causing their family members.

Anyway I've been thinking a lot this week and I've read the comments on this site over and over and they've truly helped me want to change. I've completed the first two steps and plan to work on steps 3 and 4 this week. I had a long talk with my husband about addictions in general and I know everyone is right, it's so hard to be in recovery while still hiding my past. However he really has a hard time understanding why anyone would get caught up in addictions so it made me think I need more time. It's so very hard to come clean. I'm praying for help to overcome this fear and I do realize that its true like so many have posted that lying will only make it worse."
posted at 14:15:58 on October 10, 2010 by teresa
Hi Teresa,    
"I am sorry to hear about your losses. Life can sure be hard sometimes. I am encouraged that you are looking at the Steps in the manual. I want to give a few more suggestions. Step One is the ONLY step that we need to do absolutely perfectly. What I mean by that is that before true recovery is possible, we need to truly KNOW whether we are alcoholics or not. The second part of this step is that we need to truly know whether we are POWERLESS over alcohol or not. The reason this step is so important is because if we just think we drink too much, or have a "problem" with drinking, we will convince ourselves of a hundred different ways that we can overcome this problem on our own. We will think that maybe what is needed is some exerted willpower, or more church activity, or more scripture reading, etc. etc, etc.

BUT...
If we have come to the point that when it comes to alcohol, we are completely powerless and that despite our best efforts and intentions it is only a matter of time before we drink again...Then we have arrived at Step One. And doing this step perfectly means admitting to ourselves, "I am in over my head with this. I can't control my drinking and what is even worse, I am powerless over abstaining from drinking. When I'm not drinking, I'm thinking about the next time I will be able to drink. My life has really become unmanageable and I am in terrible trouble."

Believe it or not, Teresa, this is a beautiful place to be in. Because it means you are ready for Step Two which assures us that, as desperate as we are, Heavenly Father has provided a way out of our personal hell. And by this time, we have come to realize that nothing short of a divine intervention will help us. Step Two makes us a promise, "That God WILL heal us of our disease." That is pretty reassuring after the hopelessness that comes with admitting that we are in one horrific predicament. Step Two is about truly believing that Heavenly Father has the power to heal us and that He WILL if we continue the recovery process; not because we deserve it but because He is God and for some reason we can't always fathom, He loves us.

Step Three requires a pretty big leap of faith, and unfortunately some ACTTION on our part. For alcoholics, Step Three is about "making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Heavenly Father." Notice it only says we "make a decision". It doesn't say "We turn our lives over to Heavenly Father". The whole 12 Step process will help us accomplish that huge task, but for Step Three we are only required to "make a decision" For every successful recovering alcoholic that I know, Teresa, this step involves surrendering to the 12 Step program Heavenly Father has put in place for us alcoholics. And surrendering usually takes the form of asking another woman for help. Not just any woman. A woman who is an alcoholic and who has worked all 12 Steps and has experienced the miracle of recovery. This person will most likely have at least 5 years of sobriety and is active in a 12 Step program. Unless you're in Utah (I imagine) this person may not even be a member of the church but it is still what Heavenly Father has prescribed for those of us with the disease of alcoholism. If you have the courage to get to this point, Heavenly Father will use this sponsor as His servant to heal you of the disease of alcoholism. I am living proof that it works. Of course, it starts with Step One. If you are NOT an alcoholic, then it should be easy enough to repent for breaking the Word of Wisdom. But if you come to the conclusion that you are an alcoholic and you put in the necessary work, you will be amazed before you are half way through the process at how gracious Heavenly Father truly is to His children. I used to resent being an alcoholic, Teresa. Now, I would't trade it for anything. It has given me a personal relationship with my Savior and He has blessed me in so many ways that I truly don't deserve. Good luck to you, my sister."
posted at 18:59:58 on October 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Still trying to find answers    
"It's been about a month since I posted. I told myself I would try and abstain from any type of drinking to see how hard it will be to give it up. I did mess up and had two small drinks on two separate occasions but nothing like I did before. Since then I've been able to leave it alone even though the temptation is still there and I still have thoughts of sneaking off to buy something to drink but I haven't give in. When your trying to give it up it's amazing how much you notice every advertisement and movie where's there's alcohol. I know I have to learn to ignore it. However giving it up has left me pretty depressed and very moody and it's causing my husband to think I'm not happy because of him. He's ready to walk out because I've said some hurtful things so now I'm really wondering if telling him would only make it worse. That is why I'm still struggling with getting up enough nerve to confess. I did get a chance to read The Worth of a Soul by Steven Cramer as suggested by someone on this site and it's a very good book on addiction recovery. I thought maybe after reading it I would be able to do it. Maybe things will start to improve soon, I know I need to pray more and ask for guidance on where to go from here."
posted at 21:17:48 on November 13, 2010 by teresa
Confess    
"First, congrats on your successes over the last month. You're right about noticing things more when you're trying to give it up. I find myself very aware of sexual innuendo in commercials as well as all of the ads for sexual products. It gets easier though.

If you're finding yourself moody and depressed, you might want to consider seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist. Maybe they can help you through this stage.

I would say that your husband's reaction is even more reason to tell him. Don't let him walk out thinking you are upset at him. Talk to your bishop and then talk to your husband (or the other way around). Getting it out in the open may also help your mood. It is so much better to have everything out in the open.

Try and get to an ARP meeting. That will help with the addiction and with the mood. I love my ARP meetings. It is one of the highlights of my week. I always feel so much better after going there. The people there really care for each other. It's good when I'm doing good or struggling. I really feel the Spirit there. If you can't get to a meeting yet, start reading through the manual and working through the steps.

I'll be praying for you. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.

D"
posted at 22:34:45 on November 13, 2010 by dstanley
Don't go it alone    
"Dear Teresa,

Thanks for reporting back. It's good to hear from you!

Please don't try to fight these difficult, addictive urges on your own, without the help of a bishop, an ARP group, and even your husband. They, like us, are part of your team. This is a TOUGH battle. Would you play professional basketball without 4 other team members? Would you go to war without someone at your back, covering you? This is SO MUCH EASIER when you have help! What are you waiting for!? What's keeping you back? Get help. Let someone else help you carry your burden. You won't regret it."
posted at 17:16:58 on November 14, 2010 by BeClean
.    
"Dear Teresa,

I hope you aren’t still debating if you are an alcoholic or not. I don’t want to be argumentative, but I don’t think the label you put on it, is as important right now as getting help. My personal opinion (which has been wrong before) is that you act like a duck and sound like a duck. I think you are one of us. Welcome. The fact is that the 12 Steps are a way to apply the Atonement to ANY problem. It is good enough to work for addictions, but it isn’t restricted to them. Porn is my primary drug of choice and when I went to my first meeting I still thought it was “like” and addiction. I was actually relieved when I later realized that it was a full blown addiction. I wasn’t just a weak individual that couldn’t overcome my bad habit even with world class goal setting formulas. What a joke! I had been trying to kill a lion with a fly swatter. The Atonement really works. It can work for you, and the 12 Steps are a proven method. I would give it a shot. Going to meetings whether AA or the LDS recovery meetings can help you overcome some of the shame and have the courage to share it with the people you need to.

The fact that you have been snapping at your husband since you have reduced your intake is typical of many of us when we are white knuckling it. It is also very common when we first quit medicating. Life can be rough when we face it rather than escape. I thought my anger and depression were just side effects of my addiction and that they would just slip away if I could get any sobriety. I remember after being in recovery for a number of months when I was fishing for some positive feedback that I asked my wife if my temper was getting better. She told me she thought it was getting worse. When we get ready and ask God to remove all our defects of character later in the Steps all those things begin to improve.

We all love you and care about you. We’re praying that you can recover from everything you’ve been through and put yourself through. Christ loves you more than can imagine. We all have a hole and we are trying to fill it with something. Christ can fill that hole and make us whole again. He can make us better than we were before we got broke.

Love,
John"
posted at 18:30:36 on November 15, 2010 by justjohn
Back again    
"It's been over a year since I posted in this forum and I'm ashamed to say I still haven't confessed to anyone. Every time I think I'm ready then I get cold feet and don't do it. Things have been better however, I've been able to leave alcohol alone for a super long time. Unfortunately I had a slip up last night, today I just poured a bunch down the drain so I wouldn't do it again tonight. It's amazing how you tell yourself you won't ever do it again and somehow it pulls you back in. I really hate the feeling afterward and told myself tonight I didn't want alcohol to control what I do, I much rather prefer to be in control myself. It's so frustrating to keep doing this. At the first of the year I started going back to church and missed last week and then the temptations stated all over. I need to regroup and make a commitment to leave it alone. "
posted at 19:24:33 on January 28, 2012 by teresa
12 steps    
"Welcome back to church, you are making some great decisions for yourself and your family.

12 steps might be a first step, maybe even before confession. It sounds like you need courage. Secrets and shame keeps us stuck. Going to meetings might help remove the secrets and the shame, and should you decide not to share at the meeting that's okay. Just attending will bring you strength and everyone there will respect your privacy."
posted at 19:50:09 on January 28, 2012 by angelmom
One more try    
"It's now been another year since I posted. Things were improving last year and then little by little the temptations came back. I started having to go on more trips for work and was around too many other people who were drinking. I had a super bad experience this time and almost didn't make it back home because of a hangover. I've been reading a few things in The Miracle of Forgiveness. I've still been able to keep this secret with my family, sometimes I wish I would just get caught to make it easier and to get help like everyone has suggested. I just read thru the posts everyone made back in 2011 and it helped me realize nothings going to change unless I make the effort to get help. I kept telling myself I could just stop. I know I need to start going back to church again and start the repentence process. I really and truly need to make some changes, thanks to everyone that responded before, it helps a lot to read thru your responses."
posted at 12:50:28 on February 10, 2013 by teresa
power of prayer    
"Well now I'm convinced of the power of prayer. I've been praying for a way to get back on the right path and two visitors showed up last night from the stake presidency. That is so strange because no one from our ward has even attempted to find out why I'm not at church for several years. What powerful men I'm trually humbled. Ive made the commitment to talk with my husband Sunday evening. I think I will be so relieved to get this off my conscience. I'm crossings my fingers that this time ill do it."
posted at 18:04:33 on February 13, 2013 by teresa
prayer    
"By the way I forgot to mention that the visit last night was only general talk about getting to know us and inviting us back which was nice. They have no idea what's been going on but picked us to check on. It was answer to my prayers as its a starting point."
posted at 18:13:15 on February 13, 2013 by teresa
you can do it    
"I know you can"
posted at 21:08:59 on February 13, 2013 by beclean
finaly    
"The hardest day of my life I finally gave in and carried out my promise to tell my husband. It was pretty hard to not talk myself out of it. He took it better than I thought and offered his support. He was caught totally off guard and said I must if hid it good because he never suspected anything. The only clue something was s few years back when we weren't getting along he couldn't figure out what was different. So what a weight off my shoulders. Now I need to work on quitting once and for all. We both made a commitment to go to church next week. I need to decide if I need help with the suupirt group in order to stop."
posted at 20:38:09 on February 17, 2013 by teresa
w00t    
"Way to go, Teresa. I wish you well on your recovery journey. The support meetings really help. Plus, in the meetings, we find people who have successfully traveled the path we are trying to travel. They can give a lot of strength and.support. Hang in there."
posted at 06:46:14 on February 19, 2013 by g1rlie
awesome    
"Way to go, Teresa!!

Now, whatever happens, keep those good feelings by STAYING HONEST. You might not be able to quit cold turkey and promise never to do it again, but you CAN promise yourself to be honest with your spouse. Keep the problem in the light!

And please get help. If you haven't been able to quit alone yet, it means you need help."
posted at 15:24:15 on February 19, 2013 by beclean
2 weeks sober    
"Finally hit 2 weeks of being sober. I received a priesthood blessing this week and I have a meeting set up to talk with the bishop. It's been a trying week to say the least. On one hand I'm glad to finally get working towards straightening everything out and on the other hand I'm very nervous. I started making a list of all the things I've done and it's overwhelming. Once you start going down the wrong path one thing leads to another. Hopefully I can get thru it and get set up with a support group or a plan to help make the right decisions from here on out. My husband isn't convinced that willpower alone will do the trick, he's known a lot of former alcoholics that say the urge never completely goes away even if you go a long time without a drink. So we'll see what happens from here."
posted at 20:22:04 on February 21, 2013 by teresa
keep at it...dont give up    
"stay in for the long haul............"
posted at 00:08:48 on February 27, 2013 by skyteamst90
3 weeks sober    
"Made it to week 3. The confession with the bishop last Sunday was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It was a good feeling after it was over and he was so kind and understanding. I'm so grateful for the atonement. The hardest part will be to repair the damage I caused from the lies I told to cover up. The other hard part is forgiving yourself. Never in a million years did I think this would go on for almost 5 years. It does feel good to have someone to confide in rather than trying to fight it by myself. That and saying humble prayers have provided comfort. I've been debating still about doing the 12 step program at home or attending a group meeting. Thanks to everyone on this site for giving me encouragement to get help. I did get to take The sacrament on Sunday first time in a super long time. Hopefully I won't take it for granted anymore."
posted at 19:55:52 on February 28, 2013 by teresa
8 weeks sober    
"Finally hit the 2 mo th mark it has been harder thàn I thought it would be. Prayer has helped so much. I did attend 2 12 step meetings so far and went to a recovery fireside. The spirit is so strong. Ive also listened to the recorded 12 step meetings online and they are amazing. Satan tries so many tricks to put our addiction s in our mind. I started having dreams about drinking and then having strong cravings afterward. It is very important to continue having someone to be accountable to. I'm still meeting with the bishop once in a while and that is helpi ng. Once again the 12step program is a great program and so is this site. Thanks for all the advice and it helps to read other stories so we can help each other."
posted at 22:32:30 on April 14, 2013 by teresa
This is so awesome!    
"I loved reading this! It is so very, very awesome. I am so happy for you Teresa!"
posted at 06:24:27 on April 15, 2013 by maddy
update    
"Finally approaching the 4 month sober and its getting easier every day. There's still a lot of things to work on. Trying to stay busy and work on both spiritual and physical healing. I had à goal to get a temple recommend by the end of summer but my bishop keep asking why we couldn't go thru the questions now. After several weeks of meetings it worked and I was able to get a recommend. I went thrum a session last week and it was so awesome. I still have so much work to do but it will be worth it. I'm so grateful for wonderful bishops and stk leaders and for the 12 step program."
posted at 11:35:29 on June 2, 2013 by teresa
wow!    
"So, so excited for you! Stay close to the Lord. You are becoming like him."
posted at 21:08:02 on June 2, 2013 by beclean
Thank you    
"Thank you everyone foryour comments. BeClean I looked back and read your comments several times over the last few years along with all the others that wrote suggestons. Thanks for the encouragement way back in 2010 when I still couldn't bring myself to confess or admit that I needed help. I'm so grateful and hopefully I can help other people who are going thru the same thing. Satan is still so powerful and if I let my guard down for even a short time I can have good thoughts change to bad in a matter of minutes. Your right it's very important to stay close to the Lord. I feel that I've gained more knowledge in the last 4 months than I did my entire time in the church before. I hear every song at church and every word that is spoken and cherish it. My bishop said he makes sure he looks for me every Sunday to make sure I'm there and I have a wonderful visiting teacher that is there for me 24 hours a day if I need to talk. I can't believe the difference it has made, I have a testmony of the power of prayer and spend the entire time driving to work every morning talking with the Lord. I hope and pray everyone on this site will find comfort and the help that they're so deserately trying to find."
posted at 18:51:47 on June 3, 2013 by teresa
still clean    
"Finally made the 9 months of being clean. I cant say its been easy but its been worth it. I have a testimony of prayer and the fact that angels are put in our path to help us thru our struggles. Ive had to find other methods besides alcohol to cope with stress. I have a wonderful bishop that is in tune with the spirit and is always asking how everythings going. I hope I can stay clean and be able to help others as I'm now serving in the yw program."
posted at 21:09:09 on November 16, 2013 by teresa
Woot!    
"I'm sooo happy!

Finding new ways to cope with life — I can relate to that. Share some of the suggestions you have for those out there who are struggling. What can they use to cope other than their favorite drug? What do you use?"
posted at 01:15:03 on November 17, 2013 by beclean


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball